On Failing Students

"Half of them failed my class, so I'm a little nervous to walk by them" - Teacher discussing the line of kids waiting to switch classes at the semester

And We Know Why You're A FIVE Year Senior

"I hope she's old so we can skip every day" - Student about his new teacher

Would You Like A Brain Too?

"Do you have a pencil I can write with?" - Student (5 minutes into the semester final)

Really?!?! How Did You Get To Boobs From Enzymes?

Random question in the middle of class
"How come one boob is bigger than the other?" - Student (female)

"Yeah, my left one is bigger than my right." - Student 2 (female)

On Black Eyes

"How did you get your black eye?" - Teacher

"I fell out of my shower and hit my head on my toilet, I'm not used to taking showers" - Student

On Random Questions

"Why do nipples nip?" - Student

Should I Be Afraid?

"I had to go home because my dad can't go outside" - Student

"Why can't your dad go outside?" - Teacher

"Oh, he's got house arrest" - Student

That Can't Have A Good Backstory

"You suck my dick" - Student (female)

On Valid Excuses

"I didn't my project done because my family was all drunk" - Student