Uhhh....We Don't Have A Cow, We Have A Bull

Answer on a Quiz

Describe the function of each part listed

Testis : to make milk

And They Wonder Why They Fail

Where Are You Going With This Question?

"Mister, is sucking and blowing the same thing?" - Student

What They're Really Feeding You

FINALLY, frogs are in! Apparently they arrived either yesterday or Tuesday and have been in the cafeteria. - email from science teacher

Well Played

"Why are you rubbing her?" - Teacher to female student

"Because she likes it" - random student across the room

Harsh

"I love that song, please don't ruin it for me." - Student to another student who was singing

Teacher Truisms

"But you see, I'm teaching morons" - Teacher 1 (whining)

"Don't we all" - Teacher 2

The SAT Story

"There was this girl sitting next to me at the SAT. She had her shoes off and had a blanket covering her and she was doing inappropriate things for like a half hour during the test." - Student 1

"At least she was quiet" - Student 2

"Not if you were close to her" - Student 1

"Was she still taking the test?" - Student 2

"Yeah, she was still working on the test" - Student 1

"At least she was multi-tasking" - Student 2

This One's A Genius

"Can you get pregnant from doing oral sex?" - Student (female with a 1 year old already)

How Would I Know?

During a video about salmon

"That's how salmon do it?" - Student 1

"Does it feel good?" - Student 2

You Realize The Kid Can Read The Note Too And Now Knows That You Don't Give A _____ About Him

On a note a new student handed me this morning as he came into class.

"Xxxxx is transferring from xxxxxx high school. He is here only for the asparagus season and will not be enrolling this fall. He is not projected to graduate. ................"

Signed

counselor

I'm Speechless

"Please start working" - Teacher to group of students

"They're making fun of my butthole" - Student