"Push it harder" - Teacher
"That's what she said" - Student 2
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thats Not How I Understand Sexual Reproduction
On an essay on a semester final in biology.
"An example (of an organism that reproduces sexually) would be humans. We use other organisms to reproduce.
Must Be Going Through A Boy Hating Phase
Scratch notes on the side of a test next to a question about asexual reproduction.
"Don't need help from someone else - ideal method for woman"
Monday, January 24, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
On Teacher's STDs
"I took some pictures of Mrs. ______'s syphilis and gonorrhea on my phone today. They're these cute little stuffed things that tell about the STD on the tag." - Student
On The Male Mind
"You just like her because she wears skimpy skirts and tall boots" - Student 1 (male)
Silence - Student 2 (male)
"And there you go not denying it" - Student 1
Thursday, January 20, 2011
That Must Have Been Fun To Watch
"I got suspended for throwing a pencil at this kid (long pause) sorry, PENCILS." - Student
Apparently over 30 pencils were thrown which begs, was the teacher asleep?
Apparently over 30 pencils were thrown which begs, was the teacher asleep?
Friday, January 14, 2011
Is Your Counselor Even Dumber Than You?
"My counselor wanted me to see if there was any chance I could pass this class" - Student (current grade = 4% 45 absences 2 weeks until the end of the semester)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Good Luck, You Little Bastard
"Oh F###, you work here!" - Freshman Student after treating me like crap for most of a class period because he thought I was a substitute
"Yep, I'm Mr. ___________, and I'll probably be your Biology teacher next year." - Me
"Yep, I'm Mr. ___________, and I'll probably be your Biology teacher next year." - Me
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I'm Not Sure I Want To Know
"Do you know what barebacking is?" - Student asking me
They then proceeded to provide me with the definition. Not cool.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
On Coming To Work To Stay Safe
"Has __(your wife) ____ had her baby yet?" - Me
"No, THAT'S why I'm here" - Staff Member
Uhhh.... And Where Exactly Is That?
"I think boobs would just get in the way" - Student (male)
"Not if know where to put them" - Student (female)
I Didn't KnowThat Was Even Possible
"_______ peed green today" - Student telling me
The student who was being discussed proceeded to walk over to the wall and point out the exact color of her pee on a poster.
On Teaching Your Parent About The TV Guide Channel
"I told her, 'Mom, if it say's adult its PORN, If it says erotic or exotic, its PORN' " - Student
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
On Words That Sound The Same
"I taught 7th grade my first year and I asked them to write a horror story and I got several whore stories instead" - Teacher
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