So The Earth Used To Be Egg Shaped?

Quiz Question - Why are tropical fossils found on Antarctica?

Student Answer - "Because Antarctica used to be farther south."

Exactly How Long Do You Plan On Living?

"Girls are mean" - Student 1 (Male)

"You're giving us a bad name" - Student 2 (female)

"You give yourselves a bad name!" - Student 3 (male)

How Kids Describe Parents

"I saw your dad the other day. He came with this entourage of Mexicans." - Student

Random

"You guys are lucky. You get to look at Asian cheek cells." - Student

We Only Hire The Best

"My English teacher my sophomore year would come in every morning and say 'good morning dumb asses' to our class." - Student

And We Wonder Why They Fail

"Any last questions before today's test?" - Teacher

"We have a test today?" - Student

If Only They Passed The Other Tests Too

"If our students took a gang (state assessment) they would all get 100%" - Vice Principal

Yes, We Can Tell

"I took some drugs this morning" - Principal

Well Played

"I'm glad to see you're showing your school spirit" - Student - about my shirt (one I wear to work on a regular basis) on ugly shirt and tie day during spirit week.

On Things You Shouldn't See Your Parents Do

"I watched my sister being born. The doctor made me touch her head when she was crowning" - Student

New Term: Jab

Jab = "Really Mexican, Mexican. Hat, Shirt halfway unbuttoned with hair sticking out the top, etc."

Example:

"My brother is a real jab" - Student

On Homecoming Dates

"I thought you had a date" - Student 1

"Well..., it turns out he has a criminal record" - Student 2

On Homecoming Dresses

"Yeah, mine's a little tight so if we go out to eat, I'll go to the bathroom and you'll hear this gunshot and say '_______'s out of her dress" - Student

But Compared To Other Classes It Really Sucks?

"Your class isn't bad for a science class" - Student

Thanks For Sharing

"For example if you get epic diarrhea and get dehydrated they'll give you fluid at the hospital to rehydrate you" - Teacher

"I had that once" - Student

Can You Say Food Poisoning

"I don't really trust the school milk. Sometimes it's chunky" - Student

Kinda Sad/Really Clueless

"I started gaining all this weight. I just thought my metabolism had slowed down" - Student on finding out she was 20 weeks pregnant

And You Quit Going Because They Stopped Feeding You?

"When I was little kid I went to church for the churros." - Student

Only If You Believe In Magic

"I just turned in that one assignment, do you think that will raise my grade from a 61 to a C?"

Is That Her Name?

"Why were you tardy to your 4th hour every day last week?" - Teacher

"My shoe kept coming untied" - Student